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The G-Zus compactor/decompactor: v0.01
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Jean-Christophe Clement
Public release: May 9, 1993.
Function: Compress and decompress any file VERY efficiently.
Comments: clemj00@dmi.usherb.ca
----------------------------------------------------------------------
G-Zus: Copyright 1993 Jean-Christophe Clement
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This is freely redistributable, so, you can distribute it!.
Content:
1. Standard WARNING.
2. Operation.
3. How does it works, is there any black-magic in it?
4. Bugs.
5. How to contact me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
1. ********************* WARNING ********************
-----------------------------------------------------
You take ALL the risks in using this software.
We offer NO garantee (in fact, that's the only
thing we garantee!). But, as we are human beeing
(well, sort of), we think it's our responsability
to say that an independent research firm
(Useless, Meaningless and Co.) evaluated our
soft on 1000 individuals, which gave these results:
-900 of these people died immediatly after having
crunched a 1 meg file to 30 bytes. The last
phrase commonly noted by the researcher just
before their death was:
"My god, it's full of star...".
-50 were scientist , which, after the same
experimentation, got psychologically affected
to degree varying from light illness to
a complete state of Bill Gateness after
seeing the effectiveness of our
algorithm.
-49 were from some sort of religious cult based
at Waco, Texas. Strangely, they started
to sing simultaneously something along the
line of... "...He's back from the fire,
he's gonna save us...", prosternating before
the computer screen.
In fact, the only one who managed to survive was one University student
from Iowa (He wants to stay anonymous, let's just say his initials are MB)
who's first comment was: "It sucks!". After asking him why he wasn't
impressed at all by our product, his answer was: "It's shit, It stink".
After two more hours trying to extract some informative comments, he
finally said "It is worthless because it doesn't even load Encapsulated
Postcript file and cannot render square pixel in 1024 X 768...". Our final
comment to mr. MB was to the effect that these points weren't really
related to the subject, to which he answered "So ? What's your point ? You
seem to forget that my father is stronger than yours!" and gone away
singing "I'm the best, nobody beats me, ye!, ye!, ya, da-ba-da, you-hou!".
2.OPERATION.
------------
Really simple. Type "g-zus" followed by the name of the file you want
to compress/decompress ('g-zus' knows what you want to do, you don't need
to tell him).
Example:
"g-zus work:thing/test.txt"
Will compress the file 'test.txt' and will produce archive
'work:thing/test.god'.
"g-zus work:thing/test.god"
Will decompress the file 'test.god' and will produce archive
'work:thing/test.txt' (if test.txt was the orginal name).
The file is always is always compressed/decompressed in the path specified
(because there is just one path going to g-zus).
Here are some typical compression example you can attain with G-zus:
Flex.lzh 251123 ----rwed 15-Apr-93 23:11:33
FoCo.lzh 30887 ----rwed 17-Jan-93 12:05:43
gadlayout-1.5.lha 41401 ----rwed 08-Apr-93 13:29:53
Flex.god 30 ----rwed Today 10:01:35
FoCo.god -17 ----rwed Today 10:05:12
gadlayout-1.5.god -22 ----rwed Today 10:10:55
Impressed ?, you should be! (if you initials are not MB).
3. HOW DOES IT WORKS ? IS THERE ANY BLACK MAGIC IN IT ?
-------------------------------------------------------
Of course not, there is no black-magic used as there isn't such a
thing as black magic!
What a fool you are ! Black magic ! Ha Ha! Everybody knows that Black magic
is a myth and has no scientific founding.
No... the G-Zus coder/decoder use Brown magic, which is both more
efficient, cleaner, and cholesterol free...
Here is the explaination:
Compression/decompression is a CPU intensive task and the computer suffers
badly from performing it, because there is no magic in all that
encoding stuff (well, not until now). When you have a 1 meg file shrunk
down to 50k by a JPEG compactor, where do you think that all those bits
went ? Now, it depends on the algorithm: the first ones invented involved
pressing all those bits hard against each other, resulting in some gain
in memory space. It wasn't very efficent as CPU weren't strong enough to
push the millions of bits composing the bigger files (often resulting in
good compression at start of file, decreasing toward the end.). Now, some
people found much better algorithm, such as JPEG which is based on the fact
that bits, when unused for a long period of time, tends to take some
weight (that's why we call them 'most significant bits') and, of
course, more memory. The JPEG algorithm use the heat produced by the
new generation CPU to melt those fatty bits off the memory. All that fat
is kept in a new device, the heat-sink (or propulsed off the CPU using a
specially designed fan). But, JPEG cannot be used for file where all the
bits need to be read in their original size because, as we have seen, fatty
bits become thin bits and aren't the same anymore (both physically and
mentally). So, that's why JPEG is called a 'lossy' algorithm.
So, now, imagine the work involved with trying to compress an already
compressed file to save space! Boy, it would take much more CPU ressource
than what's available today! But, here at G-Zus Inc, we found a new way to
do it using Brown Magic ((TM) Shirley McLaine). We found that the only way
to pack bits further is to suppress them! Well, of course, not entirely
(how could it works then!?)... We invoke some magical formulas to extract
the soul out of the bits that can be then physically destroyed!, their
essential information floating above the CPU and memory. That's how we
achieve such an incredible compression ratio.
The trick is to get all these ghost bits back to memory at decompression
time. That's the main purpose of the 'Ouija' function in our code which
must remain secret for military purpose (let's just say that it once went
wrong and all of the bits that came back were wearing side whiskers, a
guitar and were singing 'Jailhouse rock'). When the bits are back, the
file is accessible again.
For more information on Brown Magic, read:
"666 quick recipes using Brown Magic."
by Mephisto something (I forgot the name)
4. BUGS
-------
This software is highly unpredictable due to it's "irrational proton
inverter engine" (TM) algorithm. But, we found it to be sufficiently
safe to be used in cities of less than 40,000 inhabitant (we wanted to
avoid using words like 'Holocaust'). In fact, since the last
Pinatubo eruption, we haven't had any complaints from our thousands
of beta-testers (well, to be fair, we haven't had any news from them
either), so, we could say it's quite safe now (*).
5. HOW TO CONTACT US.
---------------------
That's all for now folks. Hope you enjoyed!
If you have a good joke, want to tell me what's life in your part of
the world or anything else, here is our address.
Well, us... we... hum... I can always be reached trough snail mail at:
Jean-Christophe Clement
921 rang 3
St-Simon,Quebec
CANADA
J0H-1Y0
or Internet: clemj00@dmi.usherb.ca
(*) But, of course, as nothing is perfect, we suggest that you wear an
heavy plate armor when using G-zus.